I once witnessed a very poignant moment during a clutter clearing consultation when the woman I was working with took a much needed break from sorting through her mounds of stuff. Her gaze caught upon her cat, sprawled out asleep as only cats can sprawl, with not a care in the world.
‘My cat owns nothing at all,’ she mused, ‘and look how peacefully he sleeps.’
She looked at the piles of clutter she still needed to sort through, and saw how different her life was to her cat’s, who owns nothing at all and never will.
Humans are markedly different to animals in this respect. Some animals such as squirrels collect stashes of food, it’s true, but the concept of personal possessions is believed to be unique to humans. In children brought up in the west, it’s already apparent by about the age of 21 months, when the word “mine” starts to appear in a child’s vocabulary.
Fast forward to adult life, and up to 5% of westerners now have a problem with hoarding. That’s 1 in every 20 people who identify so strongly with the items they own that they don’t want to let them go. It’s becoming a huge problem, and one that most social services are not equipped to deal with.
I’ve worked with hoarders, and it’s a long, slow process that requires immense patience. It’s wonderful that there are some professionals who are dedicated to working with such people but I made the decision some time ago that I can make the greatest contribution by helping the other 95% of the population not to get to that stage. Once full-blown hoarding has set in, it’s very difficult to change.
And what’s one of the most important things I teach people? It’s how to change their standpoint, so that they see their stuff for what it truly is – just stuff. George Carlin captures this perspective so beautifully in his famous sketch on this topic.
Copyright © Karen Kingston, 2014